Dog therapy

Denise Robertson has been a familiar and very reassuring face to millions of viewers of ITV’s This Morning since the programme was launched in 1988. She is the caring agony aunt that everyone feels they know and everyone would want in their family. Lucky for rescue dogs, Max, Primmie and Tess, that they are a huge part of what makes a house a home for Denise.

After almost 40 years as a dog owner, this writer, presenter and broadcaster values the love and laughter all her canine friends have contributed to her life and her work, as she says: “Each dog we have welcomed into our lives has brought something special. They all came to us in need of love and reassurance and then proceeded to give so much to my family in return. Max, Primmie and Tess are such wonderful characters and a source of great comfort and laughter in our home.”

To see Denise with her current canine family: Max, a Golden Retriever, Primmie a Collie-cross and Tess a small, stout, Doberman-type cross, you would think you were looking at a natural born dog lover, but Denise’s first pet love was a cat, called Kitsa. “I grew up in Sunderland where the first family pet I remember was Kitsa, who was a loving little thing and my great pal. You could talk to Kitsa and she seemed to understand. An experience I know many pets and their owners share.

“At that time I was afraid of dogs and avoided them at all costs. Of course life has taught me that if you have such strong feelings about something they are likely to be challenged!”

The challenge came when, sometime after the loss of her first husband, she met and married a widower with four young children. The children demanded a dog. John, her two-year-old stepson met her at the door on the morning she returned from honeymoon, as Denise recalls: “John was so adamant. He said that now I was in the house I could look after the dog so there was no excuse for not having one! I gave in, with the understanding that I would not touch it or be left alone with it. Of course that all that seems very strange to me now.”

Mitch, a black and white Collie puppy joined the household and immediately entertained everyone by chasing and nibbling their toes. The sound of all five boys (Mark, my son from my first marriage and new sons John, David, Peter, Philip from my second marriage) laughing and enjoying themselves was a joy to me. Within two weeks I was also devoted to Mitch. That was the beginning of 36 years of total pleasure gained from owning a dog.

Through her work as agony aunt on This Morning and her own website and message boards not to mention an ever-bulging postbag, Denise is constantly reminded of the value of pet companionship when life’s challenge’s hit hard. Denise’s own personal tragedies have drawn on every ounce of her inner strength. The recent loss of her step son John to cancer at the age of 44 once again brought the value of pet ownership to the forefront of every day.

“John was responsible for bringing a dog into my life when he was only two years old and I will always be grateful to him for that and so much more,” says Denise. “During his illness we also spent more time with John’s own dog, Domino, a Dalmatian and it was interesting to see my dogs’ reaction to the visitor. Tess appeared to take him under her wing. It seemed she recognised Domino’s anguish and confusion and she never left him for a moment.

“I was deeply touched by Tess’s caring behaviour although I couldn’t help thinking that she was also probably making sure that our guest didn’t make it to the food bowls before her! Dogs may be our companions but they are also dogs with dog priorities. That’s what makes them so special and so entertaining to have around.”

Max, Primmie and Tess all found their way into Denise’s heart and her home in Sunderland after very uncertain starts in life. Unsurprisingly, in the nurturing hands of Denise and her husband, Bryan, all three dogs made an easy transition from rescue home to loving home and have become an important part of a big and very close-knit family. They are great characters, as Denise explains: “Max is protector and lies in doorways. The girls like to sleep in the basket I have for them in my bedroom and as I leave the house for my journey to the This Morning studio in London they look to me to put their blanket over them. It really is very sweet.”

Although Denise is know for her invaluable work as an agony aunt, broadcasting and writing was not a clear career choice. She worked firstly as a medical secretary in a hospital but then marriage and children came along: “Marriage and the birth of my son Mark made me concentrate more on home but that changed when I was suddenly widowed and became the family breadwinner. Writing articles about my life as a mother, widow and single parent became my job.

“Then marrying a widower with four children and becoming a dog owner for the first time in my life I found that my writing was reaching more people. I was receiving more and more letters from people needing emotional support. At the time I was writing novels but I found the letter writing and sharing advice with others taking over.” An approach from community radio resulted in an agony aunt session on air and eventually the bright lights of London beckoned. The rest, as they say, is history.

Charity work is another huge part of Denise’s life. She supports over 30 charities in the only way she knows how, with her heart and soul. Recently rewarded with an MBE and the freedom of her beloved city of Sunderland, Denise remains unstoppable. You would think that as a full-time writer and broadcaster, mother of five, and grandmother to eight children she would have enough to keep her busy but helping children and animals mixes well with her home life.

One of the organisations fortunate to have Denise’s support is veterinary charity PDSA. A patron of PDSA’s Capital Appeal to fund a new PDSA PetAid hospital in Sunderland, Denise knows what it is like to be a pet owner in challenging times: “I have not always been able to afford private vet’s fees and so I know how valuable PDSA can be in times of hardship. The harder the times, the more people need the comfort of their pets as I know only too well.”

Denise’s lovely Georgian home is surrounded by a large garden and often filled with the laughter of family and the company of her dogs. It’s a happy place and brimming with the sense of contentment you would expect under Denise’s calming influence. It is a ‘home’ in every sense of the word and totally dog friendly. “I often receive letters from people whose pets have died leaving a great gap in their lives and I really understand how that feels. Sometimes they are embarrassed by their grief and unsure how to cope. They ask if it’s right to grieve over a pet in the same way they would over a human being.

“I remember receiving a letter from a fan saying: ‘no one writes about the death of a dog better than you.’ It was meant as a complement but it made me realise that if I do write it well, it’s because my dogs are part of my family and each loss has cut deeply. If you have pets they make an impression on your life, your home and your heart.

Amid reports of more and more people wanting to be buried with their pets, Denise feels it is important to assure pet owners that it’s normal and healthy to want to be close to or create a lasting reminder of a pet loved and lost. A recent survey conducted by PDSA, the UK’s leading veterinary charity, revealed the many wonderful ways pet lovers choose to immortalise a deceased furred or feathered companion: 27% of those surveyed said they planted a rose bush in the garden usually on their pet’s favourite sleeping spot: 15% displayed a photograph of the animal in pride of place in their home, while 12% said a plaque or headstone bearing a personal inscription was the way they wanted their pet to be remembered.

“Many people choose to remember their pet in a way that is special to them. It could be a memorial ceremony in the garden or leaving a special place on the hearth for their dog’s favourite blanket. However they choose to grieve they must remember that it is absolutely normal. After all pets are part of our family and the pain of loss is very real. The pain can often be eased by having a tangible reminder, a way of keeping the memory alive.”

The memories of dogs loved and lost continue to bring sunshine into Denise’s life: “A lasting memory of the final hours I shared with my son John was the big broad smile he gave me when I told him I would bring Domino into the hospice tomorrow. But there was no tomorrow. The next day, John had slipped into unconsciousness but the memory of his smile lives on.

“Dogs bring the greatest comfort. They sense when you are unhappy. Just putting their head on your knee…says it all. I have had many years of total joy as a dog owner and I intend to be a dog owner until the end of my days. Dogs bring a joy that only they are capable of generating. They are -priceless.”

PDSA Pet Tribute Tags:
Such is the depth of feeling that PDSA has created a paw-shaped garden where up to 2,000 personalised tribute tags can be displayed in the Paws Forever Pet Tribute Garden in Ilford and personal tributes viewed on-line via the PDSA website: www.pdsa.org.uk/pawsforever
 

23/04/2010