Bereavement

Coping with grief

The grief process consists of a number of stages: disbelief, pain, anger, guilt and acceptance. The first stage is disbelief and shock. It may be hard to accept the animal is no longer with us and the house may feel very empty. The next stage is pain, anger and depression. This is the time you need the support of family and friends and a listening ear. Many people will experience feelings of guilt; "Did I do the right thing?" "What could I have done to prevent it?" This is normal and will subside in time. The last stage of the process is acceptance. You have accepted the reality of the loss of your pet and can now look back with happiness on the many pleasant memories of your time together.

The death of a pet is very upsetting and it is important to allow yourself time to grieve. Take time to talk things over with friends and family. Don't feel embarrassed about crying as it helps when you release these intense emotions. Your veterinary practice may have a bereavement counsellor or can put you in touch with one if you need more help. Everyone reacts differently to grief but rest assured that these sad feelings will fade in time.

Useful references and addresses

'Death of an Animal Friend' booklet Society for Companion Animal Studies (SCAS) SCAS Director 10(B) Leny Road, Callandar Perthshire FK17 8BA

'Absent Friend' by Laura and Martyn Lee, published by Henston (ISBN 1-85054-089-6).