Pets and loss: can dogs and cats feel grief?

The loss of a family member or beloved pet is hard for anyone to go through, but it can also seem to affect our pets.

While there’s no hard evidence to say that our pets can feel loss and grief, if they lose a much-loved furry companion or someone they are close to in the household they can start to behave differently and some owners might notice a change.

Many owners recognise this change in behaviour as grief. It is possible that our pets miss the people or other pets we lose and may show it in their own way.

How to identify grief in cats and dogs

Just like people, our pets can react to loss in different ways. If you do notice a change in your pet’s behaviour, it’s best to take them to the vet first just to be on the safe side as some symptoms of what we see as grief can be symptoms of medical problems.

Some signs your dog or cat is upset over a loss might include:

• Being off their food
• Looking for the person or pet they’ve lost
• Sudden changes in personality, for example being more clingy than before
• Developing separation anxiety
• Howling or crying
• Hiding from you and other members of your family
• Grooming too much (or not at all)
• Going to the toilet indoors
• Generally not seeming ‘themselves’.

It’s not unusual for a pet to behave differently when there is change. The loss of another pet or family member can sometimes cause our pets to react to the change. Remember to check with your vet to make sure there is nothing medically wrong.

How to help a grieving cat or dog

If your vet is able to rule out any medical conditions, then it may well be that your pet is going through a grieving process. Different animals have different ways of dealing with situations and some pets may even be vocal and pace, looking around for their lost loved one.

You can help your pet by:

• Keeping calm and positive
• Making extra time for playing and doing something fun with them
• Spending time with them if that’s what they need
• Keeping to their usual routine as much as possible
• Using a pheromone plug-in diffuser could be comforting and reassuring
• Try building a den as a safe place where your dog or cat can go if they’re feeling anxious or upset
• Comforting them if they come to you (but not if they’re displaying unwanted behaviours)
• Giving them space if they choose to hide away
• Try not to make any big changes around the home that might upset them.

If your pet seems to forget some of their toilet training, don’t shout at them. Make sure you clean the area thoroughly to discourage them from going again. Give them more opportunities to go outside to toilet. You might feel that you’re going back to basics with toilet training again, but it’ll give them reassurance and support. Don’t forget to offer a treat and praise when they’ve been in the right place.

If your pet doesn’t seem to improve, or is still not eating, take them back to your vet. They may recommend a behaviourist who can help your pet, or give you advice on extra help for them.